Toddler is the New 20....

I'm not one for clowning folks who enjoy crunk music, A.K.A. that ignorant $hit. The sole purpose of listening to Gucci Mane and Plies is to be chopped and screwed. Yes play that shit while driving down I-95 while some a$$hole cuts you off. No, playing that ish at a baby shower while doling out cake and crumpets.

It's music reserved for those intimate moments with you and your Ole E.


If you haven't noticed, this genre of music also comes with novice dances that are here today gone tomorrow.

The original ignorant $hit that I can recall had to have been Crime Mob's "Knunck If You Buck". I'm gonna assume, only because my a$$ has an education past 5th grade that the song translates into, if you a bold bitch beat a bitch down.

For instance, in 2006, we had Huey's "Pop Lock and Drop It", what I've dubbed the "Cock Block and Drop It". The ultimate pu$$y poppin joint.

Three years follow and we have Hurricane Chris' "Halle Berry". The dance eludes to a knock off stroll the AKA's can claim as there own. That powdering my nose garbage. Okay we get it, we know you're pretty, weave and all.

Last but certainly not least, we got the "Stanky Leg".

Now, I mentioned at the beginning of this post that I don't mind the music. I'm peeved with the movements that justify the cause of the song even seeing the light of day.

It's the dances that are made up of utter nonsense that even an epileptic looks like he or she was the sole inspiration behind that Boom-kat-a-Boom-Boom-kat bull$hit.

Some may ask, "Miss X, why can't you just let crunk be great???"

Fuck that... I'm just concerned that this 3 minute episode of vertigo shall not pass and the masses will start calling this game proper.

When I see videos of toddlers, scratch that, babies, still $hitting in their diapers, can't even get through the first round of ABC jeopardy, whining and poppin their pre-pubescent genitals, I'm just a tad bit uneasy.

SMH!!!!

Speaking While Intoxicated

Place:

Vintage

Time:

12:01am...or sometime like that

What occurred:

I was plastered off my a$$ and decided to whip up a conversation with a random dude who looked like he was sleeping in the club.

"Sleepy Eyes" as I dubbed him.

I think we spoke about his profession in radiology and I spoke about leaving grad school.

We exchanged numbers.

I just checked my voice mail.

I can't anymore with my drunken evenings of straight debauchery.

I just can't...SMDH!!!!

He sounds like Winnie the Poo, how the hell did I not notice this when we spoke on Sunday night!!!!

F is for Foolish

SMH!!!

SMDH!!!!

I'll let the video do the talking....

Feast your Eyes!!!!

I've recently been eating for two like my a$$ is preggers.

There's this sushi resturant that I frequent at least twice a day.

I'm a fatty for life. LMAO!!!

So I ordered the Crazy Maki (shrimp tempura, cucumber, avocado, spicy mayonnaise, tobiko )for the past two days straight and had no desires to change it up.

People, I must inform you, when I eat things, my taste palette is odd. I'll only f-ck with sweet and sour combos. Strange, I know.

But, I've digressed, sort of.

I asked the owner if they had any dessert to go along with the fabulous sushi.

She offered me Mochi.

It's a sticky rice dumpling with ice cream filling.

All I can say is OMG!

I typically don't do ice cream, but God all mighty I could eat this every day in the summer.

Mango flavor is what's up.

School's Out for Eva...

OK, you ready...

I'm leaving grad school.

Hold your ooooohhhhhsss and awwwwwws.

It's a move I've been on the fence about for sometime and the one person's opinion that honestly matters to me said,

"Miss X, if you're not happy, leave."

And that couldn't be more true than right now in my life.

At this point and time in I'm not in any mood to be bound by classwork.

I applaud those who seek out higher education post undergraduate.

But it's just not for me.

So, you may be wondering what the hell will I do?

Don't worry folks.

I have a full-time job, a part-time job, and possibly seeking another part-timer to pay for those miserable loans that I've racked up along the years.

People are wondering, how will you have a life if all you do is work?

Welcome to the real world folks. That's all we do.

And plus, I have some tricks underneath my sleeve.

I intend on taking over the world. lol!!! No I really do.

MuteMouth ™ has arisen....

Come Braid my Hair....

I'm really stuck on the hair issue that I've been debating about lately.

Ok, so we established yesterday that I wanted a weave just to try it out.

We have also established that I have locs.

And lastly, we established that hair don't mean a damn thing to moi!!!!

In my life time I've rocked long and short hair .

And hands down, I prefer short hair.

I know what some of ya'll are saying.

Hair is an important part of being a woman.

And her length is of the utmost importance. It symbolizes femininity to enth degree....BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I had long hair and still knew I was a woman. I know so because I wash my vajayjay everyday.

Real Talk,

this long hair short hair debacle is erking me.

I would like to see everyone at one point in their life rock a short do and tell me how liberating that $hit is.

You'll be ozzing sex appeal all over the place, trust.

Bossy....

One last video for the road.

Hilarity at it's best.

The Lonely Island does it again.

LMAO!!!!!

Gift from the Gods

OMG moment. I've gone DVD hunting again and will post soon about each and everyone of them.

I purchased 4 new flicks. Yeah, you heard correctly, FOUR!!!!

The excitement is just oozing out of my veins and $hit.

Anywho, I'm looking forward to the end of this work day. I'm tired and cranky!!!!

Seriously Man!!!!!

I'll share something with you.

I'm a big child advocate.

I love da kidz.

But what I don't love is when I see straight up foolishness.

Let me back track, while driving to work today I hit a red light.

I sat at this red light.

While sitting at this red light, I noticed something a bit odd.

What I noticed was beyond baffling.

I'll let this picture do the talking.



Now, look closely.

**Insert side eye**

Yes, that is a child riding on her grandmothers power wheelchair.

And yes, I'm just as appalled as you are.

SMH!!!!!

Twitter and Twat

I feel like I got my mojo back or something. Or maybe I'm just a hormonally raging bitch right now. Either one is great though.

Any who, I'm on Facebook checking my friend's status and wonder to myself, when you enter your's, do you feel it necessary to tell us every waking moment of what ur day, afternoon, evening, night, and or REM sleep is like.

I mean, why do I need to know...

"Shanwta is having a pretty awesome day, had lunch with my dying grandmother, then went to bodega to pick up some now-laters, have a paper to write on Barack Obama's first 100 days and how Michelle Obama has saved the fashion industry, later tonight getting drinks with the co-workers, got a little explosive diarrhea and drunk dialed my boss demanding a raise, oh yeah, good nite my fellow facebookers"

WTF. I thought status updates were suppose to be quick blurbs on something insightful that you've experienced. Simple, short and sweet is the method of choice.

It just pains me when I can locate you on Google maps and know who your OBGYN is and what time you're getting checked for your pap-smear.

Isn't that nonsense left up to Twitter?

Open your surprises....

I don't know if it's the avocados and their omega 3's but my family is on the roll with the illest ideas, coming to venue near you.

We're just sick with it.

What's even more fascinating about it, is that I can't stand my family for more than a hour at a time.

My mother is golden.

My father is a mad scientist.

And I'm just teetering on insanity with the $hit I have planned for this summer.

All in due time kiddies.

When I say make all your hobbies profitable, I wasn't spitting that out for Kicks & Giggles.

I'm on that New New $hit.

Can't help myself.

Chris Caused Disturbia....

If you haven't already heard, your beyond late.

Chris Brown is the official spokes person for Hanes Wife Beaters

I'm no fan of Rhi Rhi, however, I wouldn't wish an a$$ beating on anyone, especially a woman.

That 'ish is so beyond messed up.

Not only will he lose loads of teenage fans and the approving mothers, he's going to lose endorsement deals with quite a few companies.

Damn. That's all you can say.

Another nicca bites the dust, I should have seen that $hit coming a mile away.