One Tubby Tubby , Two Tubby Tubby....

The last several weeks have only consisted of getting home, watching reruns, having dinner, going to sleep.

Nothing to eventful until now.

It takes me a while to grasp onto a new show. I'm the audience member that focus group handlers revere because I won't give a show a second go unless their focal points are sex, alcohol, and tomfoolery.

You would almost think I was born with a penis.

No penis, just straight vajay jay.

Anywho, last night I turned to FOX to watch the new show "More to Love".

**side eyed intensified**

All I can say, if the purpose of the show was to show big people can find true love regardless of their size, producers sadly missed their mark.

This show almost made "thickums" a joke.

What I saw was some overweight/obese, whiny, insecure women biding for the man of their dreams.

It was essentially the bachelor on cheesecake.

No joke. I swear I shed a tear for the embarrassment some of these women probably feel after watching this show air.

I'm curious to know what executive at FOX said, "I got an idea..."

"Fat women fighting for a semi-attractive man will revolutionize reality t.v."

Oh television, when will you learn. This $hit ain't gonna fly.

Not even a woman who's overweight, an average size 14, would want to watch this show.

The humor came when the cattiness began.

"OMG, I can't believe she jumped in the pool. I can't stand women who try to go the extra mile to get attention."

NEWSFLASH honey, you're on t.v. looking for true love. How extra could that be????

I'm just waiting for anti-discriminating leagues of obese chicks to send a letter of some disagreement of the stereotypical images brought to by your favorite network of racism.

I'd say FOX gets an A for effort but gets an F for execution.

30 mins....

Okay,

I've given In Treatment a second chance.

I'm learning to sit with my feelings and tolerate what the season has to offer.

I've just finished week two with Laura, Alex, Sophie, Amy & Jake, and Gina.

For those who may not be familiar with the show.

In Treatment is about Paul, a psychotherapist who has come to a braking point in regards to his practice and his marriage.

Paul, has to juggle the impossible task of maintaining ethically boundaries with his patients, tolerating his family matters and his own therapy. You didn't know, all therapist have therapist!!! And the cycle continues.LOL!!!

When the season begins, it's obvious that his patient load consist of black and white thinkers who either hate him or love him.

In Laura's case, she loves him. Literally.
Come week 2, she admits to wanting him to f-ck her!!!
Talk about "You get what you pay for!!!"

Alex is a veteran fighter pilot who keeps Paul on his toes every week. He type-A personality with a touch of sass.

The man declares Paul as his own personal, Adolf Hitler to all his important decision making.

He always has a dilemma and expects Paul to give him resolve.

Alex decides that he should end a marriage of 15 years because his wife grinds her teeth whlist alseep.

**insert side eye**

Sophie is a teenage gymnast who's injured both arms either due to her "accidental" clumsiness or as an escape from the pressure she feels from adults in her life.

She's a wise-cracking patient. But out of sheer observation, I believe her to be one of Paul's favorites.

He actually feels like he's helping this young precocious girl.

Lastly, his couple Jake & Amy. Once again he's put in the position of being the ultimate decision maker for whether they should or shouldn't.

Jake & Amy are on the brink of a possible divorce, whether they notice it or not.
Their debacle centers around Amy's current pregnancy. Abort or not to abort, is the question.
Jake wants another child, Amy does not.

After all this Paul is now allowed to unload his baggage on Gina, the supervisor who supervised his practice 9 years ago.

All in all, the show isn't really all that entertaining.

There's a mystique about it and I believe that to be the appeal to the vast majority of folks who stay tuned.

I would say this show can not be watched in one days sitting. You must watch it as it was intended to be viewed.

One patient, one day, 32 sessions.

Slaves???What Slaves????

Okay,

I'm sitting here minding my own business "working", listening to my Ipod.

Chester French's mixtape is playing and their, "Ciroc Star" feat Diddy and Jadakiss comes on.

**Insert Side Eye with a dash of conjunctivitis**

Chester French is bomb. Their mixtape is genius and their album is on some next level 'ish.

I partly sweat them bc they were breed in the heart of beantown.

"Beantown We Go Hard...."

Anywho,

I'm slightly appalled by two things that caught me off guard.

#1

Diddy needs to just stick to his clothing line. That nicca can't rap, and even when he wrote his best mediocre lines that was in the the real Bad Boy Music era.

Lawd only knows you ain't no certified gangsta.

#2

If you do one more shameless plug for your L, Ciroc, I'm gonna have to murk you.

Look kiddies, I used the word of the week in a sentence.

So, after having to subject my ears to such nonsense, I got myself thinking about Diddy and why I have a deep seated hatred for that nicca.

Yeah I said it. I'm not a fan.

***Disclaimer***

For all those who may be one iota offended about what I'm about to drop on this Fecal matter named Diddy, stop while your ahead and check out some other post of mine.

Dear Diddy,

First I would like to start by saying I hate you.
Let's not confuse it with love. I know you methodically thought to yourself that this heffa is hating cause she ain't making guap like I am. You're right a$$hole. That's the reason I do hate you. Because you are making money. Making money off the slave trade you own, named Bad Boy.

Jesus spoke to me last night after Judas tried to trade me his gold coins for my SAAB and said there's a special place in hell for you right next to Bernard Madoff and his money grubbing ways.

You're what I call a Jack of All Trades, but a master of none.

You rape and pillage young aspiring models turned whores for your benefit.

You conquer, defeat and divide groups so they hate themselves.

You manage to mock the Black community more than VH1 has in the past three years.

Well Diddy, looks like you're the first Black owner of slaves post 18th century.

You deserve a cookie, better yet a cookie laced with rat poison.

Sincerely,

Your Biggest Fan

SMH!!!!

I got a secret to share with ya....

Late at night, especially sundays, when no one's home....

I watch....

Get your mind out the gutter!!!!

I watch Masterpiece Theater, Jane Austen collection.

So my late nite creeping got me thinking about the things people do when no one is around.

You swear I get more middle age white woman by the minute.

Suck & Tuck...

Nip Tuck...Loves It!!!!!

I've been hooked on Mcnamara/Troy since back in 2003.

The first season was just about getting the viewers hooked and every season, including this one, has just left me wanting more.

They've definitely upped the ante!!!!

Liz and Christian....Eden and her Bull'ish...and last but not least Sean and Julia.

I don't want this show to end. But like all good runs, it has to.

So for right now, I'm going to sit back and enjoy the utter amazement, known as Nip Tuck.

I'm going, going, back, back, to Cali...

I'm traveling to MIA in a few weeks, and although the flight will be under 6 hours. I wanted to pack two movies for my portable DVD player.

Choosing a movie over another, is the equivalent of someone choosing Gucci over Louis.

It's a statement piece.

I'm setting my vacation, to straight debauchery.

Comedy or Horror. Mystery or Thriller.

To many options, so little time.

And you neva wanna pick a movie you've yet to see or the world's longest flick. That's just a disaster waiting to happen.

Can you image watching 2 hours and some change of "The Color Purple", on a plane, mind you? I'm not tying to hate men anymore than I already do. LOL!!!

Well, I do have an idea of what genre I want...

Comedy seems to be the best bet.

The question is,

'Wet Hot American Summer'

OR

'Pulp Fiction'

You can neva go wrong with some Pulp...

Video Killed the Radio

I'll be the first to admit, I enjoy trashy teen-drama television shows. My nasty little habit all began with the ORIGINAL 90210 and Melrose Place.

When I eventually became a teenager I was an avid Dawson's Creek fanatic. Don't you just here the music playing...
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over, will it be yes or will it be sorry?
Oh, the teen angst of being rich and living in Cape Cod, MA. Dawson, Joey, Pacey, and the rest of the white privileged "underprivileged" characters. Makes me wanna shed a tear. But like everyone else I grew up moved to college and realized that Hofstra did not harbor half these f-ing people. $hit, not even close.

But between then and now, I've picked up that dirty little habit again by anticipating the CW's Monday night line up. Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill.

Lawd, Jesus, save me now!!!!

What can I say, I'm a sucker for teen smut.

Now I could sit and blog a $hit load of jokes for days about Gossip Girl and the fact that viewers clearly watch this damn show to listen to Chuck Bass's perverted a$$. Or I could $hit on how every new character that's been introduced on One Tree Hill just resembles a different version of the main characters. No really they do, it's absurd.

For example why does Lucas and Peyton's ex boyfriend look exactly alike. I mean, what point are you trying drive home to the f-ing viewer that while Peyton was off trying to sell her a$$ in Cali that she shacked up with someone who reminded her of Lucas. God dammit, could the producers be anymore original.

Or the annoying fact that Nathaniel and the rest of the Tree Hillers needs to stop obsessing over 'Q' so much in this damn seasons storyline. If y'all wanted the Negro on the show, why the fu*k did y'all kill him off in the first place. $hit, he's like in every friggin' episode.

And as for Nate's son, I just about had it with his damn Jerry Maguire, Jonathan Lipnicki, a$$. I'm so damn cute and smart, and love my bunny wabbit.... makes me wanna puke.

Perhaps, this is what test screening results have shown, that these plots, twists and turns are what the audience wants to see. I'm not going to lie, it's definitely keeping me glued to next weeks shenanigans.