Is it Envy???

Facebook is the devil.

I swear it brings out the worst in me.

It's the place I secretly go to stalk my enemies, hate on folks from a far, and go shopping for a new wardrobe.

Yeah, it's for us posers at heart. SMH.

But of recent, I noticed a few "trends", trends being the operative word.

If engagement were a popular haircut like the Aniston or the Rihanna, it would seem as if everyone jumped ship and done gone all committal on a gurl.

2009 has shown to be an influx of people jumping the broom and wifing these hoes or putting a ring on "it", and showing that we are officially committed to each other.

It's as if, engagement has become the we're going steady now.

It's comical if you ask me. I have never been more grossed out by the idea of people as young as 21 getting engaged or enjoying the long walk of shame down the aisle

One may speculate that I haven't been wifed up or claimed as wifey material, that would explain the bitter taste that's in this post.

I'll tell you what, that's not far from the truth. I don't consider myself wifey material...because I don't want to be wifey material.

I'm combative, non-committal, abrasive, selfish, too adventuresome, and won't cooperate for the life of me. And I don't compromise for anything or anyone.

My opinion might scare you off, but let me offer you some history...

I come from a dual parent household. Both of my siblings and myself were conceived in wedlock.

My parents are shy of their 30th anniversary.

The desire to be "united" doesn't exist nor has it ever.

Marriage is not and never will be what it was. That can be seen as either a positive attribute or a negative one. Depends on who's looking. And realistically, what would be the point if the odds were stacked up against you.

I don't want to spit statistics but, lets get real....

Under 20 years old, women are 27.6% likely to get divorced, men are 11.7%
20 to 24 years old, women are 36.6% likely to get divorced, men are 36.8%
25 to 29 years old, women are 16.4% likely to get divorced, men are 22.3%
30 to 34 years old, women are 8.5% likely to get divorced, men are 11.6%
35 to 39 years old, women are 5.1% likely to get divorced, men are 6.5%
via-http://www.divorcerate.org/

If the odds are stacked up against you, why would take the plunge or the chance to potential ruin yourself or whatever means you have complied when you first meet.

I think people have forgotten that divorce is no longer taboo and that because people are much more fickle and impulsive that the permanent things that you have today, ain't so permanent tomorrow.

The time spent on planning the wedding is of much more importance than of planning the marriage.

We rely on the fact that love will save our marriage. Love is the least important in my opinion.

Why are their couples that spend close to 20 grand on a wedding, have college loans to pay down, obsecene credit card debit, and whatever else you've as chossen a lesser priortie to pay for?

Why are their couples who think it's kosher to continue to rent instead of investing in property, like a house?

Why are their couples, who for some strange reason, think it's okay to go without drafting a will once a wedding has taken place?

Look at marriage as a matching fund that you continue to put 100 dollars of your hard earned paycheck in, for some strange reason, the company( your spouse) can't seem to match the funds and then your spending more money than you earned.

What kind of fuckery is that????

Why take the risk? Love can't bring back your cash investment can it?

Toddler is the New 20....

I'm not one for clowning folks who enjoy crunk music, A.K.A. that ignorant $hit. The sole purpose of listening to Gucci Mane and Plies is to be chopped and screwed. Yes play that shit while driving down I-95 while some a$$hole cuts you off. No, playing that ish at a baby shower while doling out cake and crumpets.

It's music reserved for those intimate moments with you and your Ole E.


If you haven't noticed, this genre of music also comes with novice dances that are here today gone tomorrow.

The original ignorant $hit that I can recall had to have been Crime Mob's "Knunck If You Buck". I'm gonna assume, only because my a$$ has an education past 5th grade that the song translates into, if you a bold bitch beat a bitch down.

For instance, in 2006, we had Huey's "Pop Lock and Drop It", what I've dubbed the "Cock Block and Drop It". The ultimate pu$$y poppin joint.

Three years follow and we have Hurricane Chris' "Halle Berry". The dance eludes to a knock off stroll the AKA's can claim as there own. That powdering my nose garbage. Okay we get it, we know you're pretty, weave and all.

Last but certainly not least, we got the "Stanky Leg".

Now, I mentioned at the beginning of this post that I don't mind the music. I'm peeved with the movements that justify the cause of the song even seeing the light of day.

It's the dances that are made up of utter nonsense that even an epileptic looks like he or she was the sole inspiration behind that Boom-kat-a-Boom-Boom-kat bull$hit.

Some may ask, "Miss X, why can't you just let crunk be great???"

Fuck that... I'm just concerned that this 3 minute episode of vertigo shall not pass and the masses will start calling this game proper.

When I see videos of toddlers, scratch that, babies, still $hitting in their diapers, can't even get through the first round of ABC jeopardy, whining and poppin their pre-pubescent genitals, I'm just a tad bit uneasy.

SMH!!!!

Hiatus my A$$

Been off the radar for about a month.

What triggered the ill comeback???

A single music video.

I can't recall the last time I sat and watched a music video, maybe they're made for a newer generation.

Hasn't caught my attention like they used to.

Either way, I found myself glued to my computer screen;

Lady Gaga is a genius.

Bold statement, huh?

Let me repeat this, Lady Gaga is a genius.

This woman single handedly creates and bends her own rules to benefit her publicity.

After my True Blood catch up, I peeped YouTube.

Paparazzi, to be exact.

This woman has the grittiness and sensationalism that Madonna had back in the 80's heyday.

Fuck having your own lane, the bad bitch made her own highway.

Craziest part of it all is she's not even 24 yrs old.

Creativity like this only exists in two forms.

Neurotic or Psychotic.

I believe the latter.

One Tubby Tubby , Two Tubby Tubby....

The last several weeks have only consisted of getting home, watching reruns, having dinner, going to sleep.

Nothing to eventful until now.

It takes me a while to grasp onto a new show. I'm the audience member that focus group handlers revere because I won't give a show a second go unless their focal points are sex, alcohol, and tomfoolery.

You would almost think I was born with a penis.

No penis, just straight vajay jay.

Anywho, last night I turned to FOX to watch the new show "More to Love".

**side eyed intensified**

All I can say, if the purpose of the show was to show big people can find true love regardless of their size, producers sadly missed their mark.

This show almost made "thickums" a joke.

What I saw was some overweight/obese, whiny, insecure women biding for the man of their dreams.

It was essentially the bachelor on cheesecake.

No joke. I swear I shed a tear for the embarrassment some of these women probably feel after watching this show air.

I'm curious to know what executive at FOX said, "I got an idea..."

"Fat women fighting for a semi-attractive man will revolutionize reality t.v."

Oh television, when will you learn. This $hit ain't gonna fly.

Not even a woman who's overweight, an average size 14, would want to watch this show.

The humor came when the cattiness began.

"OMG, I can't believe she jumped in the pool. I can't stand women who try to go the extra mile to get attention."

NEWSFLASH honey, you're on t.v. looking for true love. How extra could that be????

I'm just waiting for anti-discriminating leagues of obese chicks to send a letter of some disagreement of the stereotypical images brought to by your favorite network of racism.

I'd say FOX gets an A for effort but gets an F for execution.

Teach Me...

As of late, I've been slacking on posts.

Some days I feel like writing others I just don't want to jot down ish that has annoyed me.

I don't think I've been that pissed off in while to post anything worth writing.

But today calls for one of those long posts that'll just end up being a PSA of some type.

Exibit A.--------------->

Yeah she cut off her "hair", I put hair in quotations bc nowadays that's a bit questionable. How long was hair to begin with???

What celebrity have you seen rocking their natural hair????

Even kim kardashian laces that ish up, and she's Armenian!!! That tells you this is is global!!! LOL!

I can't count one, can you???

Some peoples claim to fame is just what they can do with their do. A$$IE
What crazy design they can shave into their scalp. LA LA
What punk rock Mohawk they can rock with their ill fitting clothes. Rihanna

OKAY, we get it.

You're different....

I however, as of late, cut my lush locs short and their was much reason behind the end result.

To each is their own. Ya kno, and to each person they have their own reasons for a hairdo. Whether it's because it's the newest fad or because it's time to restart again.

We all have our own selfish reasons for styling ourselves which ever way that we do.

But the reason for the mid week break, seeing that I post like every other week is in regards to ignorance begetting ignorance.

Today would be the second time in 2009 when the blogsphere have missed the mark. (The first was with the Rihanna incident. See my other post for that one.)

Matter of fact, not the blogs but the comments that have been given.

It cuts real deep when women of African descent refer to Solange's new do as a field nigger effect.

Comments that insult natural beauty outside of weaves, fronts, and wigs.

This comes from a one time relaxer, twice a natural sister, neva rocking a weave working woman type gal, if you get my drift.

I have and will continue to pose the notion that African American women will always be a slave to their hair.

Will neva let their hair breathe without chemically altering it. Or find themselves looking in the mirror to look at the natural beauty without the lush extention they bought at Hair Stop on Washington St.

I'm assuming that most women who do weave up the hair is because their natural hair is to short to be considered beautiful, in their eyes as well as others.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the excuse you have for my previous statement is probably that, nah, my hair is long enough, it's just that I like to add a bit of thickness to my already "long" straggly hair.

Okay, now that we've established that your in denial, lets move on to the next excuse you conjured up.

It's easier to manage and it's more office appropriate.

Okay, much like the movie Bolier Room, I got a load of rebuttals for the wack a$$ excuses that you can give me.

I did not say you must come to work rocking a fro and an afro pick with tribal paint slathered on your face.

It does not make you look uncivilized or non-American. And as much as you like to continue to lie to your self, trust me your co-workers and human resource could care less. Those heffas are trying to keep their job and you're certainly not on their radar.

Well Miss X, you seem to have all the answers, we can't be as brave as you and machete our hair off.

Okay I didn't ask you to!!! All I want to get through that thick weave cap, is that YOU don't have the right or privileg to comment/ critique on a woman following the route less traveled.

I applaud anybody who goes a drift simply bc they've had enough with what society says we should be.

Don't you see it folks.

We're a country of money hungry consumers and where pumped with we aren't beautiful enough without long straight hair.

While we're chasing straight hair other countries chase curly texturized hair.

Nobody is perfect and we all have our own perception of perfection.

Just 'cause you're drinking the koolaid don't hate because I'm drink running water from a well.

And yes, I ♥ Solange's new hair buzz.

Fell Off the Wagon

God only knows what the hell has been going on with me and these erratic posts.

These one week posts are killing me.

The Flo-Jo is back in full effect, though.

I'm now one year closer to being a quarter century old.

All that means is that I'm wiser than yesterday and still naive towards tomorrow.

So, new updates....

I know you guys are feening for my movie reviews and insight.

In all honesty I haven't seen a "brand spanking" new movie.

Although, I peeped "Push" under some illegal substances.

WOW, is pretty much all I can say.

Overall, the movie's plot was sick. However, I'm pretty sure the production company used up all their money for CGI effects and everything else, because the dialogue was atrocious.

But that is to be expected with movies that are geared towards 15-24 year olds.

In instances like these, poor script, great plot, I always have to do a double take on what I'm willing to sacrifice as the viewer.

We're to forgiving when it comes to movies with the least amount of dialogue and the most amount of action.

Summer blockbusters such as Transformers, will never appeal to me, because almost all of the budget is dedicated to special effects instead of building a characters background.

And one last thing....Is it me or has every book been turned movie and every screen writer writes an adaptation strictly from a book.

I mean damn, what's going on with Hollywood???

The creative bug done flown away.

Creative Discord

What excursion is without warrant?

I'm still gathering all the necessary tools to see MuteMouth to fruition, but I'm a bit perplexed at how people come and go in contributions.

Understand MuteMouth is still in it's beginning stages.

But that makes for thoughtful precise gorilla style attack.

Aww...lest we forget that all good things do come to those who wait.

You start small.

You have a plan.

You conquer and divide.

You celebrate, but never forget...

Your original goal.

Creatively open the mind slowly but surely,

There's no gimmick on this train ride.

Just plain sex and aggression.

MuteMouth has spoken.

Miracle on 71st St.

It's about to be one of those depressing blogs, so if you can't stand a sad Miss X, please refer to my other posts of tomfoolery.

Usually around my birthday, I'm either anxious or upset about some one who's disappointed me.

I share feelings of disappointment faster than feelings of anger.

Seldom do I look towards others for advice or guidance. I truly am a free spirit and believe all things happen when they happen for a reason.

I'm typically the friend that can be leaned on for assistance or the person who's designated to just sit and listen or just sit and say nothing. My presence, can sometimes be just as comforting.

So, when the time comes when I need to vent, all I hear are crickets and silence.

Part of me believes that I do this to myself by letting so few in. But I wonder if I was created and shaped this way for a bigger purpose.

Either way, I'm amused when the mutes, as I've dubbed them, make it be known that their in a jam and need your assistance, and need it asap.

And of course, because I'm always nurturing to those who are in my circle, I end up putting aside my $hit to go play in their f-cked up sandbox mess that they themselves have created.

It's even more amusing when those same exact people, who at this point are the scum of the earth in my opinion, kiss your a$$ just to ask for a favor.

F-CK YOU AND YOUR FAVORS.

You can quote that if you like.

I'm disgusted with peoples behavior sometimes.

I'm not up on a soapbox saying I'm perfect, but damn in comparison to most, I'd say I'm pretty close.

You can also quote that.

Days like this remind me exactly why I keep to myself.

My olive branches don't grow anymore.

So, f-ck you, and you, and oh yeah, yup you to.

The Best 24th birthday that anyone could ever ask for.

The Greatest...

Sorry for the hiatus.

My loyal readers, I've been in thinking mode and couldn't get myself to type out my chaotic thought.

What I can tell you is that anything and everything has been inspiring me.

From Amber Rose, Kanye's new piece, to MJ's passing, I see color differently. I see light and darkness as a necessity for creation.

2009 is the beginning of the end of what IS and what will BE.

I am uber excited with my b-day coming up in a few days.

I'm on a adventure. And you guys are just along for the ride.

There are no rules or regs, but all that I ask is to be patient and open minded to what will manifest.

All I can say is that my imagination is what I'm following, nothing else.

I'm Late, I'm Late...

I know when a movie has been badly directed.

ie) Catherine Hardwicke, Twilight.

I know when a screenwriter sux major a$$.

ie) Mathieu Kassovitz, Bablyon AD

And I know when a movie will become a instant classic.

Tim Burton, loves all that is dark and dreary.

I became a fan nearly 10 years ago.

Edward Scissorhands, in my opinion, made him relevant.

Alice in Wonderland, will make him, if not already, one of the greatest directors of the 21st century.

Just peep the pix

Bullet Points

You know I enjoy fuckery just like the next person...

Observation #1

While enjoying the 25th hour at work, I walked outside and was scarred for life by the crime scene I bared witness to....

A woman suffering from camel toe of the a$$.

First question; is that even possible to have camel toe in between those flapper jack a$$ cheeks?

Second question; how the hell did she not notice it or feel a rubbing sensation?

I mean damn, I constantly pick my wedgies no matter where the hell I am.

If it's not obvious by now, I have no shame.

I refuse to walk around acting like I'm not bothered by cloth lodged up my a$$.

Observation #2

While enjoying a evening at the theater, my friend asked a question,

"What's the dress code here?"

Clearly by this comment, you can assume that I'm going to hawk up plenty of jokes in regards to theater attire.

I swear on somebody elses dead grave that, not once, not twice, but several times I saw club wear at the theater, mind you the show was The Color Purple.

Club wear??? Really, really, that's all you could manage? You couldn't come out pocket to pay for spandex slacks from your favorite retailer, Rainbows. I could have sworn I saw the sign buy one get one free.

I'm not sure if these chicks were trying to find a husband or a STD, but either way that 'ish was just rude.

Observation #3

Men thinking it's okay to invite you somewhere via text, sms, bbm, or IM...

Do you honestly think we can take you seriously that way?

You want to communicate, please call.

Stuck on Stupid

Still, I'm enamored and fascinated by In Treatment.

"Miss X, why can't you post something else going on."

"We miss your humor and you insight."

Oh, how I wish I could kiddies. Had you forgotten?

I said yesterday that I go with my flow.

Yeah, you'll appreciate what I'm doing for you. No need for **side eye**

I want to explore my fascination with a fictitious story that delves into psychotherapy.

Partly due to my abrupt exit in the same discipline.

It's fiction. It's a show. These characters are not real.

So, why can't I stop thinking about it?

Maybe, I haven't completely washed my hands of psychoanalysis...

OR

It's anticipation of "what's next"...

Through sheer observation, the shows' underlining themes were shame and boundaries.

So, the idea popped into my head.

Why are folks sooo afraid of being analyzed?

I remember my hesitation the first time I went to a session.

I was like, what the hell am I suppose to do.

Talk.

Simple enough.

I haven't stopped since then.

After two years on the couch, I would have to say it's up there with the most beneficial things of my life.

I like to think I have an open mind, and I'm willing to try anything once, except for crack cocaine.

I'm just saying.

Could being understood, be that bad?

Attack of the Clones

The challenge of writing a blog and maintaining one, is relevance.

You don't want a blog that's like everybody else.

You certainly don't want to go on a hiatus and expect ur followers to want to continue their following.

And lastly, you don't want to write about things that your readers find uninteresting.

So what is a blogger to do???

There's truly nothing you can do. Period.

I've been talking to a few people who hit FactFats&Fries on occasions and they say that they love the blog.

That's all fine and dandy, but once you have a following, the task ahead is continuing to please your readers, especially when you get told "I love it".
But I see things slightly different.

No offense, but I say f-ck the readers and do me.

I mean, I started the blog with my idea in mind and if people like it, I hope they'll continue to do so a year down the line.

I write what I know.

There's no formula. It's all instincts...

WellWorth...

What's in a formula?

Some formulas already contain the answer.

The equation is not about the outcome, but more about the steps on how you got there.

Much like math, patience is an equation. Those numbers are marked on the clock.

Patience is all about timing.

Good things come to those who can wait.

MuteMouth™ stands alone at dusk.

When you're sleeping, it's plotting it's next conquest.

When you're thinking, it's already thought.

The MuteMouth™ Movement is a new take on your senses.

Art speaks and Eyes listen.

Trust and believe, you will not be disappointed....

pic by Damon Carter

Jessica Habit...

There are movies from my childhood that could never be replicated.

The Wizard
The Goonies
The Breakfast Club...

You get the point.

Cool World is just one of those movies.

I could have sworn this was Rated R, but it was def PG13,

oh the 90's.

30 mins....

Okay,

I've given In Treatment a second chance.

I'm learning to sit with my feelings and tolerate what the season has to offer.

I've just finished week two with Laura, Alex, Sophie, Amy & Jake, and Gina.

For those who may not be familiar with the show.

In Treatment is about Paul, a psychotherapist who has come to a braking point in regards to his practice and his marriage.

Paul, has to juggle the impossible task of maintaining ethically boundaries with his patients, tolerating his family matters and his own therapy. You didn't know, all therapist have therapist!!! And the cycle continues.LOL!!!

When the season begins, it's obvious that his patient load consist of black and white thinkers who either hate him or love him.

In Laura's case, she loves him. Literally.
Come week 2, she admits to wanting him to f-ck her!!!
Talk about "You get what you pay for!!!"

Alex is a veteran fighter pilot who keeps Paul on his toes every week. He type-A personality with a touch of sass.

The man declares Paul as his own personal, Adolf Hitler to all his important decision making.

He always has a dilemma and expects Paul to give him resolve.

Alex decides that he should end a marriage of 15 years because his wife grinds her teeth whlist alseep.

**insert side eye**

Sophie is a teenage gymnast who's injured both arms either due to her "accidental" clumsiness or as an escape from the pressure she feels from adults in her life.

She's a wise-cracking patient. But out of sheer observation, I believe her to be one of Paul's favorites.

He actually feels like he's helping this young precocious girl.

Lastly, his couple Jake & Amy. Once again he's put in the position of being the ultimate decision maker for whether they should or shouldn't.

Jake & Amy are on the brink of a possible divorce, whether they notice it or not.
Their debacle centers around Amy's current pregnancy. Abort or not to abort, is the question.
Jake wants another child, Amy does not.

After all this Paul is now allowed to unload his baggage on Gina, the supervisor who supervised his practice 9 years ago.

All in all, the show isn't really all that entertaining.

There's a mystique about it and I believe that to be the appeal to the vast majority of folks who stay tuned.

I would say this show can not be watched in one days sitting. You must watch it as it was intended to be viewed.

One patient, one day, 32 sessions.

Holy Hot Fire

I need a pair asap.

purchase via...

Urban Outfitters

Hello Young World

What to do on a weekend away from the desk and chain?

Buy some DVD's of course.

If only you could see my cheesy a$$ smile when I walked into Best Buy Friday night.

Okay...so where shall we begin?

I bought one movie

And two shows...

One of which, I've been totally avoiding to watch, for obvious reasons.

So here it is

Season one of True Blood (omg this show is straight comedy, I loved it)

Season one of In Treatment (snoozes fest, but to be expected because of the storyline and personal bias)

and

This $hitty Mc$hit $hit of a movie called Red Mist (who the f-ck got the bright idea to do a remake of I Know What You Did Last Summer/ Carrie with med students?)

Mr. Goodbar

Slow day,

nothing of true substance to blog about.

If I don't have something bad to say, I probably shouldn't say anything at all.

LMAO!!!!

Slaves???What Slaves????

Okay,

I'm sitting here minding my own business "working", listening to my Ipod.

Chester French's mixtape is playing and their, "Ciroc Star" feat Diddy and Jadakiss comes on.

**Insert Side Eye with a dash of conjunctivitis**

Chester French is bomb. Their mixtape is genius and their album is on some next level 'ish.

I partly sweat them bc they were breed in the heart of beantown.

"Beantown We Go Hard...."

Anywho,

I'm slightly appalled by two things that caught me off guard.

#1

Diddy needs to just stick to his clothing line. That nicca can't rap, and even when he wrote his best mediocre lines that was in the the real Bad Boy Music era.

Lawd only knows you ain't no certified gangsta.

#2

If you do one more shameless plug for your L, Ciroc, I'm gonna have to murk you.

Look kiddies, I used the word of the week in a sentence.

So, after having to subject my ears to such nonsense, I got myself thinking about Diddy and why I have a deep seated hatred for that nicca.

Yeah I said it. I'm not a fan.

***Disclaimer***

For all those who may be one iota offended about what I'm about to drop on this Fecal matter named Diddy, stop while your ahead and check out some other post of mine.

Dear Diddy,

First I would like to start by saying I hate you.
Let's not confuse it with love. I know you methodically thought to yourself that this heffa is hating cause she ain't making guap like I am. You're right a$$hole. That's the reason I do hate you. Because you are making money. Making money off the slave trade you own, named Bad Boy.

Jesus spoke to me last night after Judas tried to trade me his gold coins for my SAAB and said there's a special place in hell for you right next to Bernard Madoff and his money grubbing ways.

You're what I call a Jack of All Trades, but a master of none.

You rape and pillage young aspiring models turned whores for your benefit.

You conquer, defeat and divide groups so they hate themselves.

You manage to mock the Black community more than VH1 has in the past three years.

Well Diddy, looks like you're the first Black owner of slaves post 18th century.

You deserve a cookie, better yet a cookie laced with rat poison.

Sincerely,

Your Biggest Fan