Is it Envy???

Facebook is the devil.

I swear it brings out the worst in me.

It's the place I secretly go to stalk my enemies, hate on folks from a far, and go shopping for a new wardrobe.

Yeah, it's for us posers at heart. SMH.

But of recent, I noticed a few "trends", trends being the operative word.

If engagement were a popular haircut like the Aniston or the Rihanna, it would seem as if everyone jumped ship and done gone all committal on a gurl.

2009 has shown to be an influx of people jumping the broom and wifing these hoes or putting a ring on "it", and showing that we are officially committed to each other.

It's as if, engagement has become the we're going steady now.

It's comical if you ask me. I have never been more grossed out by the idea of people as young as 21 getting engaged or enjoying the long walk of shame down the aisle

One may speculate that I haven't been wifed up or claimed as wifey material, that would explain the bitter taste that's in this post.

I'll tell you what, that's not far from the truth. I don't consider myself wifey material...because I don't want to be wifey material.

I'm combative, non-committal, abrasive, selfish, too adventuresome, and won't cooperate for the life of me. And I don't compromise for anything or anyone.

My opinion might scare you off, but let me offer you some history...

I come from a dual parent household. Both of my siblings and myself were conceived in wedlock.

My parents are shy of their 30th anniversary.

The desire to be "united" doesn't exist nor has it ever.

Marriage is not and never will be what it was. That can be seen as either a positive attribute or a negative one. Depends on who's looking. And realistically, what would be the point if the odds were stacked up against you.

I don't want to spit statistics but, lets get real....

Under 20 years old, women are 27.6% likely to get divorced, men are 11.7%
20 to 24 years old, women are 36.6% likely to get divorced, men are 36.8%
25 to 29 years old, women are 16.4% likely to get divorced, men are 22.3%
30 to 34 years old, women are 8.5% likely to get divorced, men are 11.6%
35 to 39 years old, women are 5.1% likely to get divorced, men are 6.5%
via-http://www.divorcerate.org/

If the odds are stacked up against you, why would take the plunge or the chance to potential ruin yourself or whatever means you have complied when you first meet.

I think people have forgotten that divorce is no longer taboo and that because people are much more fickle and impulsive that the permanent things that you have today, ain't so permanent tomorrow.

The time spent on planning the wedding is of much more importance than of planning the marriage.

We rely on the fact that love will save our marriage. Love is the least important in my opinion.

Why are their couples that spend close to 20 grand on a wedding, have college loans to pay down, obsecene credit card debit, and whatever else you've as chossen a lesser priortie to pay for?

Why are their couples who think it's kosher to continue to rent instead of investing in property, like a house?

Why are their couples, who for some strange reason, think it's okay to go without drafting a will once a wedding has taken place?

Look at marriage as a matching fund that you continue to put 100 dollars of your hard earned paycheck in, for some strange reason, the company( your spouse) can't seem to match the funds and then your spending more money than you earned.

What kind of fuckery is that????

Why take the risk? Love can't bring back your cash investment can it?

Toddler is the New 20....

I'm not one for clowning folks who enjoy crunk music, A.K.A. that ignorant $hit. The sole purpose of listening to Gucci Mane and Plies is to be chopped and screwed. Yes play that shit while driving down I-95 while some a$$hole cuts you off. No, playing that ish at a baby shower while doling out cake and crumpets.

It's music reserved for those intimate moments with you and your Ole E.


If you haven't noticed, this genre of music also comes with novice dances that are here today gone tomorrow.

The original ignorant $hit that I can recall had to have been Crime Mob's "Knunck If You Buck". I'm gonna assume, only because my a$$ has an education past 5th grade that the song translates into, if you a bold bitch beat a bitch down.

For instance, in 2006, we had Huey's "Pop Lock and Drop It", what I've dubbed the "Cock Block and Drop It". The ultimate pu$$y poppin joint.

Three years follow and we have Hurricane Chris' "Halle Berry". The dance eludes to a knock off stroll the AKA's can claim as there own. That powdering my nose garbage. Okay we get it, we know you're pretty, weave and all.

Last but certainly not least, we got the "Stanky Leg".

Now, I mentioned at the beginning of this post that I don't mind the music. I'm peeved with the movements that justify the cause of the song even seeing the light of day.

It's the dances that are made up of utter nonsense that even an epileptic looks like he or she was the sole inspiration behind that Boom-kat-a-Boom-Boom-kat bull$hit.

Some may ask, "Miss X, why can't you just let crunk be great???"

Fuck that... I'm just concerned that this 3 minute episode of vertigo shall not pass and the masses will start calling this game proper.

When I see videos of toddlers, scratch that, babies, still $hitting in their diapers, can't even get through the first round of ABC jeopardy, whining and poppin their pre-pubescent genitals, I'm just a tad bit uneasy.

SMH!!!!

Hiatus my A$$

Been off the radar for about a month.

What triggered the ill comeback???

A single music video.

I can't recall the last time I sat and watched a music video, maybe they're made for a newer generation.

Hasn't caught my attention like they used to.

Either way, I found myself glued to my computer screen;

Lady Gaga is a genius.

Bold statement, huh?

Let me repeat this, Lady Gaga is a genius.

This woman single handedly creates and bends her own rules to benefit her publicity.

After my True Blood catch up, I peeped YouTube.

Paparazzi, to be exact.

This woman has the grittiness and sensationalism that Madonna had back in the 80's heyday.

Fuck having your own lane, the bad bitch made her own highway.

Craziest part of it all is she's not even 24 yrs old.

Creativity like this only exists in two forms.

Neurotic or Psychotic.

I believe the latter.

One Tubby Tubby , Two Tubby Tubby....

The last several weeks have only consisted of getting home, watching reruns, having dinner, going to sleep.

Nothing to eventful until now.

It takes me a while to grasp onto a new show. I'm the audience member that focus group handlers revere because I won't give a show a second go unless their focal points are sex, alcohol, and tomfoolery.

You would almost think I was born with a penis.

No penis, just straight vajay jay.

Anywho, last night I turned to FOX to watch the new show "More to Love".

**side eyed intensified**

All I can say, if the purpose of the show was to show big people can find true love regardless of their size, producers sadly missed their mark.

This show almost made "thickums" a joke.

What I saw was some overweight/obese, whiny, insecure women biding for the man of their dreams.

It was essentially the bachelor on cheesecake.

No joke. I swear I shed a tear for the embarrassment some of these women probably feel after watching this show air.

I'm curious to know what executive at FOX said, "I got an idea..."

"Fat women fighting for a semi-attractive man will revolutionize reality t.v."

Oh television, when will you learn. This $hit ain't gonna fly.

Not even a woman who's overweight, an average size 14, would want to watch this show.

The humor came when the cattiness began.

"OMG, I can't believe she jumped in the pool. I can't stand women who try to go the extra mile to get attention."

NEWSFLASH honey, you're on t.v. looking for true love. How extra could that be????

I'm just waiting for anti-discriminating leagues of obese chicks to send a letter of some disagreement of the stereotypical images brought to by your favorite network of racism.

I'd say FOX gets an A for effort but gets an F for execution.

Teach Me...

As of late, I've been slacking on posts.

Some days I feel like writing others I just don't want to jot down ish that has annoyed me.

I don't think I've been that pissed off in while to post anything worth writing.

But today calls for one of those long posts that'll just end up being a PSA of some type.

Exibit A.--------------->

Yeah she cut off her "hair", I put hair in quotations bc nowadays that's a bit questionable. How long was hair to begin with???

What celebrity have you seen rocking their natural hair????

Even kim kardashian laces that ish up, and she's Armenian!!! That tells you this is is global!!! LOL!

I can't count one, can you???

Some peoples claim to fame is just what they can do with their do. A$$IE
What crazy design they can shave into their scalp. LA LA
What punk rock Mohawk they can rock with their ill fitting clothes. Rihanna

OKAY, we get it.

You're different....

I however, as of late, cut my lush locs short and their was much reason behind the end result.

To each is their own. Ya kno, and to each person they have their own reasons for a hairdo. Whether it's because it's the newest fad or because it's time to restart again.

We all have our own selfish reasons for styling ourselves which ever way that we do.

But the reason for the mid week break, seeing that I post like every other week is in regards to ignorance begetting ignorance.

Today would be the second time in 2009 when the blogsphere have missed the mark. (The first was with the Rihanna incident. See my other post for that one.)

Matter of fact, not the blogs but the comments that have been given.

It cuts real deep when women of African descent refer to Solange's new do as a field nigger effect.

Comments that insult natural beauty outside of weaves, fronts, and wigs.

This comes from a one time relaxer, twice a natural sister, neva rocking a weave working woman type gal, if you get my drift.

I have and will continue to pose the notion that African American women will always be a slave to their hair.

Will neva let their hair breathe without chemically altering it. Or find themselves looking in the mirror to look at the natural beauty without the lush extention they bought at Hair Stop on Washington St.

I'm assuming that most women who do weave up the hair is because their natural hair is to short to be considered beautiful, in their eyes as well as others.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the excuse you have for my previous statement is probably that, nah, my hair is long enough, it's just that I like to add a bit of thickness to my already "long" straggly hair.

Okay, now that we've established that your in denial, lets move on to the next excuse you conjured up.

It's easier to manage and it's more office appropriate.

Okay, much like the movie Bolier Room, I got a load of rebuttals for the wack a$$ excuses that you can give me.

I did not say you must come to work rocking a fro and an afro pick with tribal paint slathered on your face.

It does not make you look uncivilized or non-American. And as much as you like to continue to lie to your self, trust me your co-workers and human resource could care less. Those heffas are trying to keep their job and you're certainly not on their radar.

Well Miss X, you seem to have all the answers, we can't be as brave as you and machete our hair off.

Okay I didn't ask you to!!! All I want to get through that thick weave cap, is that YOU don't have the right or privileg to comment/ critique on a woman following the route less traveled.

I applaud anybody who goes a drift simply bc they've had enough with what society says we should be.

Don't you see it folks.

We're a country of money hungry consumers and where pumped with we aren't beautiful enough without long straight hair.

While we're chasing straight hair other countries chase curly texturized hair.

Nobody is perfect and we all have our own perception of perfection.

Just 'cause you're drinking the koolaid don't hate because I'm drink running water from a well.

And yes, I ♥ Solange's new hair buzz.

Fell Off the Wagon

God only knows what the hell has been going on with me and these erratic posts.

These one week posts are killing me.

The Flo-Jo is back in full effect, though.

I'm now one year closer to being a quarter century old.

All that means is that I'm wiser than yesterday and still naive towards tomorrow.

So, new updates....

I know you guys are feening for my movie reviews and insight.

In all honesty I haven't seen a "brand spanking" new movie.

Although, I peeped "Push" under some illegal substances.

WOW, is pretty much all I can say.

Overall, the movie's plot was sick. However, I'm pretty sure the production company used up all their money for CGI effects and everything else, because the dialogue was atrocious.

But that is to be expected with movies that are geared towards 15-24 year olds.

In instances like these, poor script, great plot, I always have to do a double take on what I'm willing to sacrifice as the viewer.

We're to forgiving when it comes to movies with the least amount of dialogue and the most amount of action.

Summer blockbusters such as Transformers, will never appeal to me, because almost all of the budget is dedicated to special effects instead of building a characters background.

And one last thing....Is it me or has every book been turned movie and every screen writer writes an adaptation strictly from a book.

I mean damn, what's going on with Hollywood???

The creative bug done flown away.

Creative Discord

What excursion is without warrant?

I'm still gathering all the necessary tools to see MuteMouth to fruition, but I'm a bit perplexed at how people come and go in contributions.

Understand MuteMouth is still in it's beginning stages.

But that makes for thoughtful precise gorilla style attack.

Aww...lest we forget that all good things do come to those who wait.

You start small.

You have a plan.

You conquer and divide.

You celebrate, but never forget...

Your original goal.

Creatively open the mind slowly but surely,

There's no gimmick on this train ride.

Just plain sex and aggression.

MuteMouth has spoken.

Miracle on 71st St.

It's about to be one of those depressing blogs, so if you can't stand a sad Miss X, please refer to my other posts of tomfoolery.

Usually around my birthday, I'm either anxious or upset about some one who's disappointed me.

I share feelings of disappointment faster than feelings of anger.

Seldom do I look towards others for advice or guidance. I truly am a free spirit and believe all things happen when they happen for a reason.

I'm typically the friend that can be leaned on for assistance or the person who's designated to just sit and listen or just sit and say nothing. My presence, can sometimes be just as comforting.

So, when the time comes when I need to vent, all I hear are crickets and silence.

Part of me believes that I do this to myself by letting so few in. But I wonder if I was created and shaped this way for a bigger purpose.

Either way, I'm amused when the mutes, as I've dubbed them, make it be known that their in a jam and need your assistance, and need it asap.

And of course, because I'm always nurturing to those who are in my circle, I end up putting aside my $hit to go play in their f-cked up sandbox mess that they themselves have created.

It's even more amusing when those same exact people, who at this point are the scum of the earth in my opinion, kiss your a$$ just to ask for a favor.

F-CK YOU AND YOUR FAVORS.

You can quote that if you like.

I'm disgusted with peoples behavior sometimes.

I'm not up on a soapbox saying I'm perfect, but damn in comparison to most, I'd say I'm pretty close.

You can also quote that.

Days like this remind me exactly why I keep to myself.

My olive branches don't grow anymore.

So, f-ck you, and you, and oh yeah, yup you to.

The Best 24th birthday that anyone could ever ask for.

The Greatest...

Sorry for the hiatus.

My loyal readers, I've been in thinking mode and couldn't get myself to type out my chaotic thought.

What I can tell you is that anything and everything has been inspiring me.

From Amber Rose, Kanye's new piece, to MJ's passing, I see color differently. I see light and darkness as a necessity for creation.

2009 is the beginning of the end of what IS and what will BE.

I am uber excited with my b-day coming up in a few days.

I'm on a adventure. And you guys are just along for the ride.

There are no rules or regs, but all that I ask is to be patient and open minded to what will manifest.

All I can say is that my imagination is what I'm following, nothing else.

I'm Late, I'm Late...

I know when a movie has been badly directed.

ie) Catherine Hardwicke, Twilight.

I know when a screenwriter sux major a$$.

ie) Mathieu Kassovitz, Bablyon AD

And I know when a movie will become a instant classic.

Tim Burton, loves all that is dark and dreary.

I became a fan nearly 10 years ago.

Edward Scissorhands, in my opinion, made him relevant.

Alice in Wonderland, will make him, if not already, one of the greatest directors of the 21st century.

Just peep the pix

Bullet Points

You know I enjoy fuckery just like the next person...

Observation #1

While enjoying the 25th hour at work, I walked outside and was scarred for life by the crime scene I bared witness to....

A woman suffering from camel toe of the a$$.

First question; is that even possible to have camel toe in between those flapper jack a$$ cheeks?

Second question; how the hell did she not notice it or feel a rubbing sensation?

I mean damn, I constantly pick my wedgies no matter where the hell I am.

If it's not obvious by now, I have no shame.

I refuse to walk around acting like I'm not bothered by cloth lodged up my a$$.

Observation #2

While enjoying a evening at the theater, my friend asked a question,

"What's the dress code here?"

Clearly by this comment, you can assume that I'm going to hawk up plenty of jokes in regards to theater attire.

I swear on somebody elses dead grave that, not once, not twice, but several times I saw club wear at the theater, mind you the show was The Color Purple.

Club wear??? Really, really, that's all you could manage? You couldn't come out pocket to pay for spandex slacks from your favorite retailer, Rainbows. I could have sworn I saw the sign buy one get one free.

I'm not sure if these chicks were trying to find a husband or a STD, but either way that 'ish was just rude.

Observation #3

Men thinking it's okay to invite you somewhere via text, sms, bbm, or IM...

Do you honestly think we can take you seriously that way?

You want to communicate, please call.

Stuck on Stupid

Still, I'm enamored and fascinated by In Treatment.

"Miss X, why can't you post something else going on."

"We miss your humor and you insight."

Oh, how I wish I could kiddies. Had you forgotten?

I said yesterday that I go with my flow.

Yeah, you'll appreciate what I'm doing for you. No need for **side eye**

I want to explore my fascination with a fictitious story that delves into psychotherapy.

Partly due to my abrupt exit in the same discipline.

It's fiction. It's a show. These characters are not real.

So, why can't I stop thinking about it?

Maybe, I haven't completely washed my hands of psychoanalysis...

OR

It's anticipation of "what's next"...

Through sheer observation, the shows' underlining themes were shame and boundaries.

So, the idea popped into my head.

Why are folks sooo afraid of being analyzed?

I remember my hesitation the first time I went to a session.

I was like, what the hell am I suppose to do.

Talk.

Simple enough.

I haven't stopped since then.

After two years on the couch, I would have to say it's up there with the most beneficial things of my life.

I like to think I have an open mind, and I'm willing to try anything once, except for crack cocaine.

I'm just saying.

Could being understood, be that bad?

Attack of the Clones

The challenge of writing a blog and maintaining one, is relevance.

You don't want a blog that's like everybody else.

You certainly don't want to go on a hiatus and expect ur followers to want to continue their following.

And lastly, you don't want to write about things that your readers find uninteresting.

So what is a blogger to do???

There's truly nothing you can do. Period.

I've been talking to a few people who hit FactFats&Fries on occasions and they say that they love the blog.

That's all fine and dandy, but once you have a following, the task ahead is continuing to please your readers, especially when you get told "I love it".
But I see things slightly different.

No offense, but I say f-ck the readers and do me.

I mean, I started the blog with my idea in mind and if people like it, I hope they'll continue to do so a year down the line.

I write what I know.

There's no formula. It's all instincts...

WellWorth...

What's in a formula?

Some formulas already contain the answer.

The equation is not about the outcome, but more about the steps on how you got there.

Much like math, patience is an equation. Those numbers are marked on the clock.

Patience is all about timing.

Good things come to those who can wait.

MuteMouth™ stands alone at dusk.

When you're sleeping, it's plotting it's next conquest.

When you're thinking, it's already thought.

The MuteMouth™ Movement is a new take on your senses.

Art speaks and Eyes listen.

Trust and believe, you will not be disappointed....

pic by Damon Carter

Jessica Habit...

There are movies from my childhood that could never be replicated.

The Wizard
The Goonies
The Breakfast Club...

You get the point.

Cool World is just one of those movies.

I could have sworn this was Rated R, but it was def PG13,

oh the 90's.

30 mins....

Okay,

I've given In Treatment a second chance.

I'm learning to sit with my feelings and tolerate what the season has to offer.

I've just finished week two with Laura, Alex, Sophie, Amy & Jake, and Gina.

For those who may not be familiar with the show.

In Treatment is about Paul, a psychotherapist who has come to a braking point in regards to his practice and his marriage.

Paul, has to juggle the impossible task of maintaining ethically boundaries with his patients, tolerating his family matters and his own therapy. You didn't know, all therapist have therapist!!! And the cycle continues.LOL!!!

When the season begins, it's obvious that his patient load consist of black and white thinkers who either hate him or love him.

In Laura's case, she loves him. Literally.
Come week 2, she admits to wanting him to f-ck her!!!
Talk about "You get what you pay for!!!"

Alex is a veteran fighter pilot who keeps Paul on his toes every week. He type-A personality with a touch of sass.

The man declares Paul as his own personal, Adolf Hitler to all his important decision making.

He always has a dilemma and expects Paul to give him resolve.

Alex decides that he should end a marriage of 15 years because his wife grinds her teeth whlist alseep.

**insert side eye**

Sophie is a teenage gymnast who's injured both arms either due to her "accidental" clumsiness or as an escape from the pressure she feels from adults in her life.

She's a wise-cracking patient. But out of sheer observation, I believe her to be one of Paul's favorites.

He actually feels like he's helping this young precocious girl.

Lastly, his couple Jake & Amy. Once again he's put in the position of being the ultimate decision maker for whether they should or shouldn't.

Jake & Amy are on the brink of a possible divorce, whether they notice it or not.
Their debacle centers around Amy's current pregnancy. Abort or not to abort, is the question.
Jake wants another child, Amy does not.

After all this Paul is now allowed to unload his baggage on Gina, the supervisor who supervised his practice 9 years ago.

All in all, the show isn't really all that entertaining.

There's a mystique about it and I believe that to be the appeal to the vast majority of folks who stay tuned.

I would say this show can not be watched in one days sitting. You must watch it as it was intended to be viewed.

One patient, one day, 32 sessions.

Holy Hot Fire

I need a pair asap.

purchase via...

Urban Outfitters

Hello Young World

What to do on a weekend away from the desk and chain?

Buy some DVD's of course.

If only you could see my cheesy a$$ smile when I walked into Best Buy Friday night.

Okay...so where shall we begin?

I bought one movie

And two shows...

One of which, I've been totally avoiding to watch, for obvious reasons.

So here it is

Season one of True Blood (omg this show is straight comedy, I loved it)

Season one of In Treatment (snoozes fest, but to be expected because of the storyline and personal bias)

and

This $hitty Mc$hit $hit of a movie called Red Mist (who the f-ck got the bright idea to do a remake of I Know What You Did Last Summer/ Carrie with med students?)

Mr. Goodbar

Slow day,

nothing of true substance to blog about.

If I don't have something bad to say, I probably shouldn't say anything at all.

LMAO!!!!

Slaves???What Slaves????

Okay,

I'm sitting here minding my own business "working", listening to my Ipod.

Chester French's mixtape is playing and their, "Ciroc Star" feat Diddy and Jadakiss comes on.

**Insert Side Eye with a dash of conjunctivitis**

Chester French is bomb. Their mixtape is genius and their album is on some next level 'ish.

I partly sweat them bc they were breed in the heart of beantown.

"Beantown We Go Hard...."

Anywho,

I'm slightly appalled by two things that caught me off guard.

#1

Diddy needs to just stick to his clothing line. That nicca can't rap, and even when he wrote his best mediocre lines that was in the the real Bad Boy Music era.

Lawd only knows you ain't no certified gangsta.

#2

If you do one more shameless plug for your L, Ciroc, I'm gonna have to murk you.

Look kiddies, I used the word of the week in a sentence.

So, after having to subject my ears to such nonsense, I got myself thinking about Diddy and why I have a deep seated hatred for that nicca.

Yeah I said it. I'm not a fan.

***Disclaimer***

For all those who may be one iota offended about what I'm about to drop on this Fecal matter named Diddy, stop while your ahead and check out some other post of mine.

Dear Diddy,

First I would like to start by saying I hate you.
Let's not confuse it with love. I know you methodically thought to yourself that this heffa is hating cause she ain't making guap like I am. You're right a$$hole. That's the reason I do hate you. Because you are making money. Making money off the slave trade you own, named Bad Boy.

Jesus spoke to me last night after Judas tried to trade me his gold coins for my SAAB and said there's a special place in hell for you right next to Bernard Madoff and his money grubbing ways.

You're what I call a Jack of All Trades, but a master of none.

You rape and pillage young aspiring models turned whores for your benefit.

You conquer, defeat and divide groups so they hate themselves.

You manage to mock the Black community more than VH1 has in the past three years.

Well Diddy, looks like you're the first Black owner of slaves post 18th century.

You deserve a cookie, better yet a cookie laced with rat poison.

Sincerely,

Your Biggest Fan

100 Don't Look So Bad

Yesterday's last entry marked my 100th FactFats&Fries post.

It's a celebration bitches!!!!!!!

I'm getting toasted come 6pm this evening.

Gots to love the high life.

Question...

Is it alcoholic-like if I drink by myself to celebrate a milestone????

If so, I guess I'm gonna be blogging about Rehab in the near future.

The Deepest Low

Before I saw Young Victoria, I watched The Duchess.

It was definitely the catalyst for back to back period pieces.

What can I say? I'm a sucker for the bourgeois ;-)

Anywho, The Duchess is no sob story.

It's a story of The Duchess of Devonshire and her ill mistreatment and partial imprisonment within her own marriage.

I would also recommend this flick.

All to often movies like these go unnoticed.

Highest of the High

After a LONG Chinatown bus ride all I wanted to do was watch a movie.

And did I.

I've mentioned in previous posts that I enjoy watching period pieces.

I ran came across "Young Victoria" trailer while enjoying another flick.

The movie is closely based of off true events about Queen Victoria's early reign.

Seems boring, huh?

Not exactly. Young Victoria does an interesting job depicting life behind the royal's high expectations for their offspring.

Courtship is not a game of love but of political gain.

It definitely makes being poor a privilege.

I rarely recommend a movie, but I will give my stamp of approval.

Murked???

Urban Dictionary, a reliable source, defines "murked" as the following.

"Someone who was killed in a vicious manner.

Man that guy that lived around the corner from me got murked last night buy some dude with a sledge hammer, his head cracked open."

So what makes me want to murk someone????

Just about anything that pisses me off!!!!

Lest, I remind you that I enjoy foolishness... but at other peoples expense.

Chewing out loud.

I swear at times my hearing is frequenced so finely, that I can hear an ant crossing the street.

If I can hear that far, I can definitely hear you chomping at that apple that is damn near finished and you think there still some to chew.

Taking phone calls during me-and-you time.

One may think, aww Miss X gets no love, her boos making and taking calls during me- and-you time.

On the contrary. I'm referring to friends who think that 'ish is kosher to ask me, being the optimal word, out to chill but wind up having a convo via cellular texting.

I'm no Diddy, and neither are you, and I'm pretty sure your a$$ ain't got a business to take of and a career to ruin.

If you're in my "fave five", you live a low key life as I do.

Label Whoring

I realize that we still have the bourgeois mentality.

The haves and have nots.

But, I'm a fake a$$ Birkin bag carrying citizen.

While you enjoy the finer things in life and like to brag about what and who you are wearing, I'm creating game plans on how to run a successful business with little to no means and make my first million, come 25.

Don't get me wrong. I have a Bulova watch, Frye boots and Gucci bags that are vintage circa 1975, but I'm never gonna sit in a conversation about Stalin and drop names like I'm still on Line repeating the founding Ladies of AKA!!!

Murking is a lifestyle, not a trend.

Speaking While Intoxicated

Place:

Vintage

Time:

12:01am...or sometime like that

What occurred:

I was plastered off my a$$ and decided to whip up a conversation with a random dude who looked like he was sleeping in the club.

"Sleepy Eyes" as I dubbed him.

I think we spoke about his profession in radiology and I spoke about leaving grad school.

We exchanged numbers.

I just checked my voice mail.

I can't anymore with my drunken evenings of straight debauchery.

I just can't...SMDH!!!!

He sounds like Winnie the Poo, how the hell did I not notice this when we spoke on Sunday night!!!!

Imposters

You ever look back on things while in the present and say, "that's interesting?"

That's me right now.

I'm slightly sour, but glad that I'm not in that circle.

Why you ask?

Two reasons:

1. That was never my life style to begin with.

2. It was never my reality that I wanted to obtain.

I figure, live and let live.

To each is their own.

I'm neither salted or insulted.

I don't have time to feel for something that was never felt for in the first place....

F is for Foolish

SMH!!!

SMDH!!!!

I'll let the video do the talking....

Swoon Worthy

"I'm the bootleg queen....I'll give it to you for free 99"
-Kanye West

Yup, I'll admit, I'm too lazy and too cheap to purchase an 11 dollar ticket to the theater, so I catch my movie else where.

Top notch secret location....

LMAO!!!

But for real, I just caught Star Trek.

Jesus take the Wheel, Chris Pine is a looker!!!!

Movie was on point and well delivered, but my eyes were feeling up on Captain Kirk.

Spock can get it too.

You know I got a thing for brainiacs.

I Pity the Fool...

Randomosity....

I was going through some old photos and noticed that I smile in every single one.

I have that ill kool-aid smile minus the red juice mustache.

So I took a pic without teeth.

I'm not sure if I like it...I look irked.

Call It A Comeback

Yesterday I arrived home.

Greeted my mother & checked the mail.

Sorted through the junk and saw something suspect addressed to her.

I read the letter that reads similar to this (not the exact letter, but damn close):

DEAR MADAM,

CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL

HAVING CONSULTED WITH MY COLLEAGUES AND BASED ON THE INFORMATION GATHERED FROM THE NIGERIAN CHAMBERS OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY, I HAVE THE PRIVILEGE TO REQUEST FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE TO TRANSFER THE SUM OF $47,500,000.00 (FORTY SEVEN MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) INTO YOUR ACCOUNTS. THE ABOVE SUM RESULTED FROM AN OVER-INVOICED CONTRACT, EXECUTED COMMISSIONED AND PAID FOR ABOUT FIVE YEARS (5) AGO BY A FOREIGN CONTRACTOR. THIS ACTION WAS HOWEVER INTENTIONAL AND SINCE THEN THE FUND HAS BEEN IN A SUSPENSE ACCOUNT AT THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA APEX BANK.

WE ARE NOW READY TO TRANSFER THE FUND OVERSEAS AND THAT IS WHERE YOU COME IN. IT IS IMPORTANT TO INFORM YOU THAT AS CIVIL SERVANTS, WE ARE FORBIDDEN TO OPERATE A FOREIGN ACCOUNT; THAT IS WHY WE REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE. THE TOTAL SUM WILL BE SHARED AS FOLLOWS: 70% FOR US, 25% FOR YOU AND 5% FOR LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL EXPENSES INCIDENT TO THE TRANSFER.

THE TRANSFER IS RISK FREE ON BOTH SIDES. I AM AN ACCOUNTANT WITH THE NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION (NNPC). IF YOU FIND THIS PROPOSAL ACCEPTABLE, WE SHALL REQUIRE THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENTS:

(A) YOUR BANKER'S NAME, TELEPHONE, ACCOUNT AND FAX NUMBERS.

(B) YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS -- FOR CONFIDENTIALITY AND EASY COMMUNICATION.

(C) YOUR LETTER-HEADED PAPER STAMPED AND SIGNED.

ALTERNATIVELY WE WILL FURNISH YOU WITH THE TEXT OF WHAT TO TYPE INTO YOUR LETTER-HEADED PAPER, ALONG WITH A BREAKDOWN EXPLAINING, COMPREHENSIVELY WHAT WE REQUIRE OF YOU. THE BUSINESS WILL TAKE US THIRTY (30) WORKING DAYS TO ACCOMPLISH.

PLEASE REPLY URGENTLY.

BEST REGARDS

All I could do at this point was laugh to myself, because not only did the envelope contain such a bogus letter, it had a check included that was pure comedy.

Even if someone in my family was stupid enough to fall for this nonsense, the bank or Western Union would laugh his or her a$$ right out of the place.

I'm usually annoyed when they email this nonsense and it goes straight to junk mail, but when your home address is sold off to the biggest bidder, that $hit becomes infuriating.

WTF, I mean what if my mother or father were not the brightest bulb in the bunch, or even worse if they were sooo elderly they thought this ish was for real.

I feel an ill invasion of privacy.

Not even my closest friends know my exact home address, that shows you the amount of privacy I like.

I almost hit the ceiling when I saw that $hit.

These Nigerian scams, 411 scams, Russian scams, have to seize. This 'ish is just ridiculous.

Fool Me Once, Shame On You, Fool Me Twice, Nicca I'm Dumb

I know it's pathetic,

I own a blog but yet I complain about broadcasting personal business by means of internet.

I'm such a hypocrite. Or am I???

The issue that consumes me is constant mentioning of people who claim they have haters via internet, but choose to blog or facebook or twitter each and every movement they make.

Johnny is watching OZ at my girls house.

Okay, that's all fine and dandy, but say you got a situation,
***insert side eye***, and your side piece just peeped your facebook profile.

Your a$$ has been caught because you put your location to the Batcave out there for all to see, including the girl who's probably outside your girlfriends house right now with a switch blade in her knock-off Vuitton, getting ready for a good shanking.

Here's another example for you hard headed folks.

Laura is up in VIP with the girls.

Okay, you partying and bull$hitting, but I could have sworn you just told your dude that you were staying in with your moms because she wasn't feeling well.

Your nicca, will march his ass up to the club...matter of fact, that nicca will call his ex up and have some making up to do 3 to 4 times that night while you're shaking and grinding your drunk a$$.

The moral;

stop giving personal locations via internet to any fool that wishes to catch your ass and intercept you.

Don't complain when people you're frenemies with show up to the same location, and are coincidentally partying with your ex-boyfriend.

Don't complain that people are keeping tabs on you or that you have stalkers/haters via facebook that constantly check your profile.

Your dumbass nature got you here in the first place. It's only human to inquire about other people, it's just that you're foolish enough to leave a trail so you can be followed (i.e. Followers).

Privacy settings can only take you so far on these sites.

So wise up to the fact that you are now a virtual target

To Do...

Checklist:

Drop out of Grad School...check

Cut off Locs...check

Nails did...check

Swagger on a million trillion...check

Business up and coming...check

MuteMouth™ Movement has arisen....

New Jawn

Dreads shall seize

Today....

Let me unveil my roots....

It's a new day a new dawn....

Feast your Eyes!!!!

I've recently been eating for two like my a$$ is preggers.

There's this sushi resturant that I frequent at least twice a day.

I'm a fatty for life. LMAO!!!

So I ordered the Crazy Maki (shrimp tempura, cucumber, avocado, spicy mayonnaise, tobiko )for the past two days straight and had no desires to change it up.

People, I must inform you, when I eat things, my taste palette is odd. I'll only f-ck with sweet and sour combos. Strange, I know.

But, I've digressed, sort of.

I asked the owner if they had any dessert to go along with the fabulous sushi.

She offered me Mochi.

It's a sticky rice dumpling with ice cream filling.

All I can say is OMG!

I typically don't do ice cream, but God all mighty I could eat this every day in the summer.

Mango flavor is what's up.

Melody

Having a $hitelicious day???

Here's the ultimate playlist to turn your frown upside down. Some video's included!!!

Chester French "So Tall"
The Clipse "Trill"
Kanye West "Glory"
Asher Roth "La Di Da"

Bloc Party "Banquet"



Janet "Got 'Till it's Gone"



Common "BE"

Common - be
Uploaded by atlony - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Feist "Man my Moon"



Saul Williams "List of Demands"

Saul Williams - List of demands
Uploaded by didjie - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Get at me!!!!

Pot of Gold....

Gold dig or not to gold dig...that's the question.

My girl upset, understandably so, bc some Negro decided to say she resembles the girl that The Dream sung about in his song Fancy.

SMH!!!

So ladies and gentlemen, I pose the question,

Why are women considered gold diggers if they enjoy the finer things in life, even when they foot the bill out of their own pocket?

To me, that just means she's a boss with an expensive taste.

Speak on it...

When White Folks Go Wrong....

Movie #2

Few horror movies ever get me shook. They're usually comical at best.

The Last House on the Left was not funny one bit.

It had me on the edge of my seat hoping that all bad deeds not go unnoticed.

The Last House.. is a remake from the original in the 70's. As a matter of fact, I believe it was Wes Craven's first film.

So damn sentimental...

Anywho,

A family is vacationing at their usual summer spot in the woods.

And in case you didn't realize, they're white.

Let me find out that Blacks go to some cabin in the woods without protection. I had my glock watching this movie. SMH!!!

When you have an equation that includes a dumb broad + white teenagers smoking trees + a physician who knows how to kill you in more ways than one, only one will happen...

Somebody's gonna die and not peacefully.

I'll leave it at that.

Yeah, how about them Sequels...Yikes

Movie #3

I'm a fan of Donnie Darko. I thought that movie was executed wonderfully.

For those who may not know what Donnie Darko is about, let me put you on.

Donnie Darko tells the story of a boy who time travels to events that happen due to two reasons....

He's white, and you and I both now that $hit don't happen to negros. Lmao!!!

Where we gonna go, back to slavery. They ain't a decade where we get love.

Back to the second reason, he's crazy.

But that still makes for great entertainment.

I thought of Donnie Darko as more of a Alice in Wonderland adult version, queen not included.

So, years later, someone with the bright idea decided to do a sequel... S. Darko

I'm not gonna lie, when I heard, I was geeked up.

But after seeing it, all I can say is the soundtrack was banging.

My mother always said, if you ain't got nothing nice to say, don't speak or even give a little side eye.

I'll be following those directions.

Smell Ya Later...

Movie #1

Perfume

I've wanted to see this movie since 2006 when it was in theaters and I'm not sure if I was just to lazy to go see it or purchase it now that it's on DVD, or I truly was not ready to sit through a period piece.

Whatever the case, the film tells the tale of Jean-Baptiste Grenouille, who has an uncanny gift to identify any smell within miles.

He's loner and seemly so with a gift like his.

His nose eventually catches a scent that he can neither shake nor ignore.

The scent of a woman....

Now, I don't want to give you the play by play of how he comes to be a perfume connoisseur unlike any other, but lets just say it's deadly.

Haven't Shed a Tear Yet...

Sitting here laughing to myself, because all is good in Miss X's world as of now.

I couldn't be happier with where I am in my life at this very moment.

When I told y'all that all I ask for are just the basics, I truly meant it.

Love, laughter, and happiness.

Sound of Music

Def have a case of the "Mondays".

So for your enjoyment as well as mine, here are a few of my favorite things.

Outkast - prototype
Uploaded by djreset - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Mastermind...

I don't usually post on fashion.

But...

Is it me or are stylist playing more of an intricate role in a celebrities life.

Take this picture of Rihanna,




She's killing us softly with her fashion, yet I wonder, is it Ri Ri or the woman/man behind the scenes playing dress up on Barbie?

Just a thought...

Is fashion just a bit trite if you have to put excess effort in constantly trying to exceed your effort the day before last?

Or,

Is it just a world of mass manipulation?

I believe the latter.

School's Out for Eva...

OK, you ready...

I'm leaving grad school.

Hold your ooooohhhhhsss and awwwwwws.

It's a move I've been on the fence about for sometime and the one person's opinion that honestly matters to me said,

"Miss X, if you're not happy, leave."

And that couldn't be more true than right now in my life.

At this point and time in I'm not in any mood to be bound by classwork.

I applaud those who seek out higher education post undergraduate.

But it's just not for me.

So, you may be wondering what the hell will I do?

Don't worry folks.

I have a full-time job, a part-time job, and possibly seeking another part-timer to pay for those miserable loans that I've racked up along the years.

People are wondering, how will you have a life if all you do is work?

Welcome to the real world folks. That's all we do.

And plus, I have some tricks underneath my sleeve.

I intend on taking over the world. lol!!! No I really do.

MuteMouth ™ has arisen....

Decisions, decisions....

Big News Y'all!!!!!

I've finally come to a decision about something in my life, and now that I've decided to move on, I feel that I'll be able to pursue other ventures that come knocking my way.

My main focus is fulfilling my dreams and being the happiest that I can possibly be.

I will keep y'all posted!!!!

I really sound country with all that y'all an $hit.

Oh as for the movie review, I'm still watching some movies, so I'll hit ya with those later.

Popcorn Please

OK,

I know, I know, I haven't posted a review on a movie in a few days and your wondering why.

One reason is that I'm just being lazy and are currently posting things that are fresh in my mind, and the second reason is that I honestly haven't been wowed by any of the movies I've seen lately.

I mean I have a Blockbuster worth of films that people could easily rent and I would still have another 100+ movies to peep.

It's an obsession.

Along with the amount of shoes I have, but I'll save that topic for another post.

No, I really will, it's gotten bad, really bad.

Anyways the movies that I've seen have been so so.

Lat night I rented Babylon A.D. and The Uninvited.

Yup yup.

Hey RedBox was slacking and ya'll know I'm down for horror and sci-fi anytime.

Star Trek anybody??

On to the movies...

Babylon A.D. stars Vin Disel.(plz excuse the Russian pic.LOL!!!)



**Insert Side Eye**

And plays a mercenary who takes a job transporting a young girl and her keeper to America from Russia. He wants the guap, and she's worth every penny. Along the way however, he realizes that she has a sick gift of never experiencing a damn thing in her life but posses unimaginable amounts of memory of both the past and future.

Overall, movie was OK, not one of my favorites, but it's def great on a cloudy/rainy Sunday afternoon.

I mean, Vin can only play two roles to a "T", and Shakespeare ain't one of them.

As for the rest of the movies I've seen thus far,

I swear I'll do a day of posts dedicated to just them.

Saturday sounds nice.

See ya then folks.

Adam and Eve

Miss X is wondering about this blog that I recently began to follow.

Tales From A Groupie

Hey, I'll admit that it's juicy fictitious stories are great to read during a boring work day, but what gets me going are not the stories but the comments that people leave.

For instance, there was some rapper that I've never heard of on this side of the pond and the story teller was saying how wack he was in bed and so forth.

So she decides to only keep in contact with him for monetary means.

Question: WTF is wrong with women and getting money from niccas????

I'm beyond baffled on women who are proud to announce niccas give them money and they don't have to do anything to get it.

Maybe it's me, but I don't want any man giving me money unless it's for two reasons.

Reason # 1:

He and I are putting our money together to put a down payment on a house, car, or college fund for our peanut. Our being the optimal word.

Reason # 2:

Oh wait, reason # 1 covers all gamuts.

I'm getting infuriated day by day with every new story these broads like to divulge about a nicca doing this and a nicca doing that.

Yet I never hear about what the f-ck they're doing themselves.

Ladies, you want to know why women are constantly degraded, Black women in particular, it's because we seemly like to play the role of a doting gold digger.

Yes, I said it, GOLD...TO...THE...DIGGER!!!!

Women of all nations and creeds need to stop this mentality that men are our only monetary resources.

Men are not a side hustle and certainly not a side job. So stop trying to collect
$200 after you reach GO.

That 'ish is so sicken beyond belief.

And lastly, if you think that being to financially independent will scare a nicca off, then you need to reevaluate your meaning of being a Lady.

Peace.

Try to Steal my Sunshine...You will Get Slapped

Who in their life has not one day or another been a Debbie Downer?

There are days that I like to sulk and expect all those around me to suffer the misery I must feel, but those days are far and few.

I usually take out pent up aggression in more constructive ways.

In light of all this I realized that Debbie Downers serve a true purpose, they truly have a calling....

That calling is to ruin every extraordinary moment that takes place in your life.

They're the ones who are out there to destroy your flow of creativity.

They're the ones who always see the glass half empty and feel it completely necessary to sway your way of thinking.

They're the ones to big you up, only to critique you when you fall.

And most importantly they're, you and me.

People please stop the belittling of others. Stop the hating of others. Stop the violation of others. And stop the discrimination of others.

If you do not understand, learn.

Envy and fear begets themselves and multiply into hatred of one's self and others.

If I see something I like, I don't hate, I marvel and take note on what someone is wearing or doing.

If I bare witness to greatness, I listen and interpret.

Please folk do the same.

Lawd only knows that ur spot shall be taken by a much more humble oblivious person.

Come Braid my Hair....

I'm really stuck on the hair issue that I've been debating about lately.

Ok, so we established yesterday that I wanted a weave just to try it out.

We have also established that I have locs.

And lastly, we established that hair don't mean a damn thing to moi!!!!

In my life time I've rocked long and short hair .

And hands down, I prefer short hair.

I know what some of ya'll are saying.

Hair is an important part of being a woman.

And her length is of the utmost importance. It symbolizes femininity to enth degree....BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I had long hair and still knew I was a woman. I know so because I wash my vajayjay everyday.

Real Talk,

this long hair short hair debacle is erking me.

I would like to see everyone at one point in their life rock a short do and tell me how liberating that $hit is.

You'll be ozzing sex appeal all over the place, trust.