Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Is it Envy???

Facebook is the devil.

I swear it brings out the worst in me.

It's the place I secretly go to stalk my enemies, hate on folks from a far, and go shopping for a new wardrobe.

Yeah, it's for us posers at heart. SMH.

But of recent, I noticed a few "trends", trends being the operative word.

If engagement were a popular haircut like the Aniston or the Rihanna, it would seem as if everyone jumped ship and done gone all committal on a gurl.

2009 has shown to be an influx of people jumping the broom and wifing these hoes or putting a ring on "it", and showing that we are officially committed to each other.

It's as if, engagement has become the we're going steady now.

It's comical if you ask me. I have never been more grossed out by the idea of people as young as 21 getting engaged or enjoying the long walk of shame down the aisle

One may speculate that I haven't been wifed up or claimed as wifey material, that would explain the bitter taste that's in this post.

I'll tell you what, that's not far from the truth. I don't consider myself wifey material...because I don't want to be wifey material.

I'm combative, non-committal, abrasive, selfish, too adventuresome, and won't cooperate for the life of me. And I don't compromise for anything or anyone.

My opinion might scare you off, but let me offer you some history...

I come from a dual parent household. Both of my siblings and myself were conceived in wedlock.

My parents are shy of their 30th anniversary.

The desire to be "united" doesn't exist nor has it ever.

Marriage is not and never will be what it was. That can be seen as either a positive attribute or a negative one. Depends on who's looking. And realistically, what would be the point if the odds were stacked up against you.

I don't want to spit statistics but, lets get real....

Under 20 years old, women are 27.6% likely to get divorced, men are 11.7%
20 to 24 years old, women are 36.6% likely to get divorced, men are 36.8%
25 to 29 years old, women are 16.4% likely to get divorced, men are 22.3%
30 to 34 years old, women are 8.5% likely to get divorced, men are 11.6%
35 to 39 years old, women are 5.1% likely to get divorced, men are 6.5%

If the odds are stacked up against you, why would take the plunge or the chance to potential ruin yourself or whatever means you have complied when you first meet.

I think people have forgotten that divorce is no longer taboo and that because people are much more fickle and impulsive that the permanent things that you have today, ain't so permanent tomorrow.

The time spent on planning the wedding is of much more importance than of planning the marriage.

We rely on the fact that love will save our marriage. Love is the least important in my opinion.

Why are their couples that spend close to 20 grand on a wedding, have college loans to pay down, obsecene credit card debit, and whatever else you've as chossen a lesser priortie to pay for?

Why are their couples who think it's kosher to continue to rent instead of investing in property, like a house?

Why are their couples, who for some strange reason, think it's okay to go without drafting a will once a wedding has taken place?

Look at marriage as a matching fund that you continue to put 100 dollars of your hard earned paycheck in, for some strange reason, the company( your spouse) can't seem to match the funds and then your spending more money than you earned.

What kind of fuckery is that????

Why take the risk? Love can't bring back your cash investment can it?

Friday, October 30, 2009

Toddler is the New 20....

I'm not one for clowning folks who enjoy crunk music, A.K.A. that ignorant $hit. The sole purpose of listening to Gucci Mane and Plies is to be chopped and screwed. Yes play that shit while driving down I-95 while some a$$hole cuts you off. No, playing that ish at a baby shower while doling out cake and crumpets.

It's music reserved for those intimate moments with you and your Ole E.

If you haven't noticed, this genre of music also comes with novice dances that are here today gone tomorrow.

The original ignorant $hit that I can recall had to have been Crime Mob's "Knunck If You Buck". I'm gonna assume, only because my a$$ has an education past 5th grade that the song translates into, if you a bold bitch beat a bitch down.

For instance, in 2006, we had Huey's "Pop Lock and Drop It", what I've dubbed the "Cock Block and Drop It". The ultimate pu$$y poppin joint.

Three years follow and we have Hurricane Chris' "Halle Berry". The dance eludes to a knock off stroll the AKA's can claim as there own. That powdering my nose garbage. Okay we get it, we know you're pretty, weave and all.

Last but certainly not least, we got the "Stanky Leg".

Now, I mentioned at the beginning of this post that I don't mind the music. I'm peeved with the movements that justify the cause of the song even seeing the light of day.

It's the dances that are made up of utter nonsense that even an epileptic looks like he or she was the sole inspiration behind that Boom-kat-a-Boom-Boom-kat bull$hit.

Some may ask, "Miss X, why can't you just let crunk be great???"

Fuck that... I'm just concerned that this 3 minute episode of vertigo shall not pass and the masses will start calling this game proper.

When I see videos of toddlers, scratch that, babies, still $hitting in their diapers, can't even get through the first round of ABC jeopardy, whining and poppin their pre-pubescent genitals, I'm just a tad bit uneasy.


Monday, August 24, 2009

Hiatus my A$$

Been off the radar for about a month.

What triggered the ill comeback???

A single music video.

I can't recall the last time I sat and watched a music video, maybe they're made for a newer generation.

Hasn't caught my attention like they used to.

Either way, I found myself glued to my computer screen;

Lady Gaga is a genius.

Bold statement, huh?

Let me repeat this, Lady Gaga is a genius.

This woman single handedly creates and bends her own rules to benefit her publicity.

After my True Blood catch up, I peeped YouTube.

Paparazzi, to be exact.

This woman has the grittiness and sensationalism that Madonna had back in the 80's heyday.

Fuck having your own lane, the bad bitch made her own highway.

Craziest part of it all is she's not even 24 yrs old.

Creativity like this only exists in two forms.

Neurotic or Psychotic.

I believe the latter.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

One Tubby Tubby , Two Tubby Tubby....

The last several weeks have only consisted of getting home, watching reruns, having dinner, going to sleep.

Nothing to eventful until now.

It takes me a while to grasp onto a new show. I'm the audience member that focus group handlers revere because I won't give a show a second go unless their focal points are sex, alcohol, and tomfoolery.

You would almost think I was born with a penis.

No penis, just straight vajay jay.

Anywho, last night I turned to FOX to watch the new show "More to Love".

**side eyed intensified**

All I can say, if the purpose of the show was to show big people can find true love regardless of their size, producers sadly missed their mark.

This show almost made "thickums" a joke.

What I saw was some overweight/obese, whiny, insecure women biding for the man of their dreams.

It was essentially the bachelor on cheesecake.

No joke. I swear I shed a tear for the embarrassment some of these women probably feel after watching this show air.

I'm curious to know what executive at FOX said, "I got an idea..."

"Fat women fighting for a semi-attractive man will revolutionize reality t.v."

Oh television, when will you learn. This $hit ain't gonna fly.

Not even a woman who's overweight, an average size 14, would want to watch this show.

The humor came when the cattiness began.

"OMG, I can't believe she jumped in the pool. I can't stand women who try to go the extra mile to get attention."

NEWSFLASH honey, you're on t.v. looking for true love. How extra could that be????

I'm just waiting for anti-discriminating leagues of obese chicks to send a letter of some disagreement of the stereotypical images brought to by your favorite network of racism.

I'd say FOX gets an A for effort but gets an F for execution.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Teach Me...

As of late, I've been slacking on posts.

Some days I feel like writing others I just don't want to jot down ish that has annoyed me.

I don't think I've been that pissed off in while to post anything worth writing.

But today calls for one of those long posts that'll just end up being a PSA of some type.

Exibit A.--------------->

Yeah she cut off her "hair", I put hair in quotations bc nowadays that's a bit questionable. How long was hair to begin with???

What celebrity have you seen rocking their natural hair????

Even kim kardashian laces that ish up, and she's Armenian!!! That tells you this is is global!!! LOL!

I can't count one, can you???

Some peoples claim to fame is just what they can do with their do. A$$IE
What crazy design they can shave into their scalp. LA LA
What punk rock Mohawk they can rock with their ill fitting clothes. Rihanna

OKAY, we get it.

You're different....

I however, as of late, cut my lush locs short and their was much reason behind the end result.

To each is their own. Ya kno, and to each person they have their own reasons for a hairdo. Whether it's because it's the newest fad or because it's time to restart again.

We all have our own selfish reasons for styling ourselves which ever way that we do.

But the reason for the mid week break, seeing that I post like every other week is in regards to ignorance begetting ignorance.

Today would be the second time in 2009 when the blogsphere have missed the mark. (The first was with the Rihanna incident. See my other post for that one.)

Matter of fact, not the blogs but the comments that have been given.

It cuts real deep when women of African descent refer to Solange's new do as a field nigger effect.

Comments that insult natural beauty outside of weaves, fronts, and wigs.

This comes from a one time relaxer, twice a natural sister, neva rocking a weave working woman type gal, if you get my drift.

I have and will continue to pose the notion that African American women will always be a slave to their hair.

Will neva let their hair breathe without chemically altering it. Or find themselves looking in the mirror to look at the natural beauty without the lush extention they bought at Hair Stop on Washington St.

I'm assuming that most women who do weave up the hair is because their natural hair is to short to be considered beautiful, in their eyes as well as others.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the excuse you have for my previous statement is probably that, nah, my hair is long enough, it's just that I like to add a bit of thickness to my already "long" straggly hair.

Okay, now that we've established that your in denial, lets move on to the next excuse you conjured up.

It's easier to manage and it's more office appropriate.

Okay, much like the movie Bolier Room, I got a load of rebuttals for the wack a$$ excuses that you can give me.

I did not say you must come to work rocking a fro and an afro pick with tribal paint slathered on your face.

It does not make you look uncivilized or non-American. And as much as you like to continue to lie to your self, trust me your co-workers and human resource could care less. Those heffas are trying to keep their job and you're certainly not on their radar.

Well Miss X, you seem to have all the answers, we can't be as brave as you and machete our hair off.

Okay I didn't ask you to!!! All I want to get through that thick weave cap, is that YOU don't have the right or privileg to comment/ critique on a woman following the route less traveled.

I applaud anybody who goes a drift simply bc they've had enough with what society says we should be.

Don't you see it folks.

We're a country of money hungry consumers and where pumped with we aren't beautiful enough without long straight hair.

While we're chasing straight hair other countries chase curly texturized hair.

Nobody is perfect and we all have our own perception of perfection.

Just 'cause you're drinking the koolaid don't hate because I'm drink running water from a well.

And yes, I ♥ Solange's new hair buzz.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Fell Off the Wagon

God only knows what the hell has been going on with me and these erratic posts.

These one week posts are killing me.

The Flo-Jo is back in full effect, though.

I'm now one year closer to being a quarter century old.

All that means is that I'm wiser than yesterday and still naive towards tomorrow.

So, new updates....

I know you guys are feening for my movie reviews and insight.

In all honesty I haven't seen a "brand spanking" new movie.

Although, I peeped "Push" under some illegal substances.

WOW, is pretty much all I can say.

Overall, the movie's plot was sick. However, I'm pretty sure the production company used up all their money for CGI effects and everything else, because the dialogue was atrocious.

But that is to be expected with movies that are geared towards 15-24 year olds.

In instances like these, poor script, great plot, I always have to do a double take on what I'm willing to sacrifice as the viewer.

We're to forgiving when it comes to movies with the least amount of dialogue and the most amount of action.

Summer blockbusters such as Transformers, will never appeal to me, because almost all of the budget is dedicated to special effects instead of building a characters background.

And one last thing....Is it me or has every book been turned movie and every screen writer writes an adaptation strictly from a book.

I mean damn, what's going on with Hollywood???

The creative bug done flown away.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Creative Discord

What excursion is without warrant?

I'm still gathering all the necessary tools to see MuteMouth to fruition, but I'm a bit perplexed at how people come and go in contributions.

Understand MuteMouth is still in it's beginning stages.

But that makes for thoughtful precise gorilla style attack.

Aww...lest we forget that all good things do come to those who wait.

You start small.

You have a plan.

You conquer and divide.

You celebrate, but never forget...

Your original goal.

Creatively open the mind slowly but surely,

There's no gimmick on this train ride.

Just plain sex and aggression.

MuteMouth has spoken.