Friday, June 19, 2009

Bullet Points

You know I enjoy fuckery just like the next person...

Observation #1

While enjoying the 25th hour at work, I walked outside and was scarred for life by the crime scene I bared witness to....

A woman suffering from camel toe of the a$$.

First question; is that even possible to have camel toe in between those flapper jack a$$ cheeks?

Second question; how the hell did she not notice it or feel a rubbing sensation?

I mean damn, I constantly pick my wedgies no matter where the hell I am.

If it's not obvious by now, I have no shame.

I refuse to walk around acting like I'm not bothered by cloth lodged up my a$$.

Observation #2

While enjoying a evening at the theater, my friend asked a question,

"What's the dress code here?"

Clearly by this comment, you can assume that I'm going to hawk up plenty of jokes in regards to theater attire.

I swear on somebody elses dead grave that, not once, not twice, but several times I saw club wear at the theater, mind you the show was The Color Purple.

Club wear??? Really, really, that's all you could manage? You couldn't come out pocket to pay for spandex slacks from your favorite retailer, Rainbows. I could have sworn I saw the sign buy one get one free.

I'm not sure if these chicks were trying to find a husband or a STD, but either way that 'ish was just rude.

Observation #3

Men thinking it's okay to invite you somewhere via text, sms, bbm, or IM...

Do you honestly think we can take you seriously that way?

You want to communicate, please call.

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